Hmph! This island does not have enough food to sustain me. Before the race had begun again, I found my self eating talking baby dinosaurs. So annoying when they scream "NOOOOOOOOO!"
So yes I was glad to leave the Skull Island ( Well that and King Kong cheats at poker.) Even if it was in the most rickety plane ever to fly. Thing would have crashed if I did not jump out and catch it.
So we are supposed to find the secret HQ of the Falun Gong eh? Luckily I over hear a cab driver, tell the clone trooper where the one at the mall is. Good him , and his strange bird man partner will take the other one while me and Logan go for this one.
When we arrive they are pretty easy to find they are the ones In the matching clothes, Talking about "peace and morality." Bah! Worse than that monk on Daxam. The man stalked me and ruined any fun I could have had there.
So I tell Logan "All yours."
" What? Are ya flamin' playin' at bub? I don't wanna do whatever it is we have ta do wit 'em."
" Tough!" I answer. I drag him over to the cultists.
Now Let Logan regale you with his part of the challenge. While I go see what Bulma is up too. Wolverine
No good son O' a monkey! A' course it's gotta be one O' those challenges, Only one O' us can do. This guy gives me a note with the challenge, I look it over. I see Chuck is gettin' back at me fer pushin' 'im down the stairs that time.
"Ok I gotta convert five O' ya yahoos to a major religion. Who wants it?"
Silence. I think I hear a cricket chirpin'.
Great. I gotta convince 'em. So I start talkin' up the 5 we want 'em to convert ta. And The cultists throw back their flamin' dogma.
" Our founder can read the minds of us all! And he has other supernatural powers!"
" Yeah I know a bald guy in Westchester, that can read minds what of it?" I answer. "Then I call 'im. An' Chuck tells 'im what they are all thinkin'. " Then they give me back the phone.
" Logan this wouldn't happen to have anything with the race would it?"
Uh-oh. " What's that Chuck? Yer breakin' up. The reception here is lousy. I'm gonna go . "
I look over the cultists. Looks like I'll have ta shock ,em inta listenin, ta me.
" Ok I got powers myself watch this. " I pop my claws with a Snikt! an' stab myself. The wound heals, an' all O' them gasp.
" Ya all think that's impressive?" I grin. " Come on an' take a look at this."
I show 'em the hotel across the street that Vegeta, had checked inta with his hot wife, O' course the alien freak don't put down the shades. So at one part the two O' em are floatin'. Thankfully with clothes on.
I start throwin' rocks at the window, and Monkey boy gets annoyed and opens it , and starts blasting in our general direction. "Logan! What are you doing?" He commands.
" Transform inta a super saiyan!" I shout back.
" What? I am busy! But I shall. Then after I am done showing you my abilities If you and those cult weirdos want to watch I do not care!"
Ya know I beginnin' ta think he comes from the planet voyeur or somethin'.
But whatever he transforms inta a super saiyan 4 and flies around a bit. Fires some blasts picks up a car , and crushes it.
" Now I shall return to my wife." He flies up to the window , an starts tearin' up her clothes.
I turn around . " Ok Ya'all let's get outta here before we see somethin' we can't un see eh?" All O' them left with me. Except one guy who was droolin' at the window . There ain't no way I'm goin' back fer 'im. I ain't gonna risk gettin' an eyeful O' somethin' that'll make me wanna gouge out my peepers. That kid is on his own.
So after that many O' he cultist were really wantin' ta listen ta what I had ta say I got one ta become a Buddhist, another Two ta become Christian. Two more inta Islam. And some went inta Judaism and ,Hinduism But I stopped countin' after I hit five.
Yeah but some O' the cult guys decided I was divine and built a cult around me, Not what I was wantin'. This is how they see me.
And they think Vegeta is the Devil. Ya know , I don't doubt it.
Another faction worships Vegeta. Disturbin' and plain wrong.
And I'm the devil ta them. Not my good side.
Another faction was started up called the angel and the demon, they believe Veg Head was a demon who became good by knockin' boots wit' Bulma. Flamin' weird. Guess who started this one? If ya said droolin' pervert ya win a cookie.
All the factions started arguing, then declared a holy war on each other. Sigh I'm goin' ta Hell fer this I just know it. Vegeta.
Well that was relaxing. I'm taken out of the moment by an explosion outside. I get up and, put on my armor While I notice Bulma already has a weapon ready. Logan runs in through the door.
" Whew! I'm so glad yer finished, and dressed. I was afraid I'd see somethin'" He huffs.
" What is going on out there?" I demand.
" I kinda started a holy war. " he says sheepishly.
" I leave you alone for an hour, and you cause the Crusades? Did you at least finish the challenge?"
" Yup. I got the next clue." He smiles .
" Fine then. Where do we go next?" I see Bulma already getting a Capsule jet bike , and waving bye.
" Be careful with crazies out there " I warn her.
" With all the devices on me the crazies need to worry about me. Don't worry go back to your race." She blows a kiss before leaving.
" Ok. Pay attention, bub." Logan growls. "We gotta choose showin' a bunch O' people a good time. Or we can create a new event for the games."
We both choose the new event. We head to the rickshaw. " Aw man!" grumbles Logan. "Where's the guy that's supposed ta pull this thing?"
" I think your little war has made him run off." I reply. " Do not worry sit in the Rickshaw. I shall pull this. " In two seconds flat we are at the site of the games.
The problem is using my speed, had completely destroyed the rickshaw, Also it injured Logan. Not that it would really bother him all that long. I noticed as we were walking into the arena that Logan was wearing his brown costume, not the yellow one he wore a while ago.
" Did you actually change costumes on the way to get me?" I ask.
"Nah. Marvel is makin' me wear this costume durin' the race that keeps changin'. Somethin, Reed Richards came up wit. Any way they say it sells more action figures."
" Your not going to turn pink or rainbow colored on me are you?" I try to stifle my laughter at the thought.
" I hope not." He shrugs.
After some preparations we are ready to show our game to the Olympic committee.
"What is that?" One judge asks. Pointing at my creation. That looms 15 feet above them.
" That is the burning happy face of death." I respond proudly.
" And what is the event you want to do with it?" Questions another judge.
" Logan tossing." I laugh.
" What?" Wolverine almost gets out before I throw him.
"The object." I continue, " Is too throw Logan into the center. Without him getting burned. If they miss the ring completely or Logan gets burned they lose points. " I throw him a couple of more times just for the Hell Of it, his costume keeps changing each time.
" But sir. " A judge raises his hand. " Wolverine though small is extremely heavy."
" Yes." I snort. " He should lay off the burgers."
" Hey Bub!" he protests. " A guy's who's appetite jest destroyed an entire island's ecosystem shouldn't talk! besides it's the Adamntium in my skeleton."
" Sure it is Logan." I turn my attention back to the judges. " I had actually thought of that. Which is why I brought Mini Logan!"
This little freak starts jumping around yelling "Happy happy!" it then jumps on Logan. " I'm gonna to make you smile!" It than starts tickling him.
" Aaaah! Where didja get this flamin' thing?" Logan yells.
" I found it in another universe I think it was called Earth 616 1/2. It's so annoying. I had I thought about releasing it on you to serve you as a sidekick, but this is a better use for him. So I had Trunks deliver him for this.
The tiny Wolverine starts asking "Do you know your Abc's?" Then starts singing them while dancing on Logan's head. One of the Olympic athlete's they had there to try to play the game we created grabbed him and threw him threw the Burning Happy Face of Death.
" Wheeeeee!" it exclaims.
" That is acceptable." the judges finally tell us, giving us the next clue. " that was disturbin'." Was all Wolverine would say on the way to the Pitstop.
Meanwhile One judge asks another " How do we get the burning happy face of death to stop burning?