Wednesday, March 07, 2007

Final challenge

The first clue had us go into a glass elevator from Beijing. How we ended up in either America or England or somewhere is beyond me. It doesn't matter. Whatever this insane man comes out and starts singing!
" Welcome racers to my factory here there are wonders..."

" SHUT UP!" I yell. " Damn! What is your problem? Just tell us what we have to do!"

" Ooh! Your a sour one aren't you? " He responds. I Look at the sign of the place we are in. Great a chocolate factory. Well it's a good thing Kakarot is not my partner. That Clown would eat everything in here.

The inside is like what I suppose one of Kakarot's dreams is like. A psychedelic place, with giant sweet mushrooms, a chocolate river and disturbing little singing men .

Logan growls " Who are those horrible little men? "

" Ooompa Loompa doobity dack . You are calling the pot calling the kettle black!"

" Those are the Oompa Loompa's!" The weird little man shouts gleefully. I think I may kill him. " I found them in Loompa Land, I pay them in caco beans."

" Slave labor eh?" I smirk.

" Why heavens no!" He seems shocked.

Logan pops his middle claw at them. " Tell then I hate them!"

" That's too bad." says Wonka . " You have to sing an Oompa Loompa song!"

I grin " Logan gets to do that."

" Why me?" he protests.

" Because I'm stronger than you are." I state. " Now Go!"

" One O' these days I'm gonna kill ya. " He grumbles.

" It is nice to have dreams mutant. Now what does Logan have to do?"

Wonka sings this long boring song. But really what it boils down too is Logan has to sit in a room with those little creeps for an hour , and listen to them then he has to copy it, And it has to be about another racer.

So while I wait, Wonka who I find out this freak's name is questions. " Would you like something to eat?"

" Have any thing besides candy?"

" No."

"Then no I would not." I sneer.

Finally Wolverine comes out ready for his song.

" Oompa Loompa Diddliy din. Who kept sayin' this race was his to win? It wasn't me or Mr. Bulma. It was Capitan Koma! Ooompa Loompa giddly goots Caliban can back ta shinin' my boots!

The Oopma Loompa's clapped and gave their approval. I was wondering why I mean he rhymed Koma with Bulma. He later told me . " Yeah, after about fifteen minutes with 'em I snapped , and started hittin' them. They said they would approve whatever I said as long As I didn't kill 'em."

Ah. First they are forced into slave labor, now they are beaten by the rodent. If I had compassion I think I would be feeling it for these disgusting little creatures. As it is I want them away from me, they insult my senses.

One of them fearfully tries to give the next clue to me But Wolverine barks at him, forcing him to scamper away , dropping the clue.

I pick it up. " Well we can either make some kind of candy or try to taste test some."I read.

" Let's do the easiest one an' taste some candy ." Logan. Says ' What's the worst that can happen?"

Famous last words.

First one I eat all my clothes turn pink.

" This does not even make sense!" I ponder this when I hear Logan scream.

"My Nose!!! Where's my nose!"

" Are we finished ?" I question of the maniac running this place.

" No. There are more samples to come!" He retorts too gleefully for my taste.

I eat another , and I become this.

I turn to see what Logan's did to him. " Arrrgh! I now have a creamy strawberry center! an' it's leakin' out!"

I smell the ooze (because there is no way I am eating that. ) " That is grape, not strawberry."

" Don't matter Bub!" He hisses. " Flavored gunk shouldn't be comin' outta my pores!"

The next candy piece doesn't do me much better.

Nor does Logan's.

The next one a lollipop does something horrible.

Wolverine is laughing at me. " You have no room to laugh Ms. Pink Claws!"

" What?" He looks down. " Yaaaaaaaaaaaa!"

" Well sirs... I mean madams that is all the candy you have to sample."

"How long do I have to stay like this?" I grab Wonka by the throat.

" Your friend has already turned back!" He gasps. I look and indeed he has.

I snarl. " He has a quick healing ability! That does not help me!"

" Oh." Wonka looks embarrassed." I have no idea how long it 'll last."

" Hey we can't get the next clue if ya kill 'im Darlin'." Logan snidely grins.

" What did you just call me?" I growl.

" Hey calm down it was just a joke." He giggles then his eyes go toward my chest. I blast him.

" Fine give me the next clue Chocolate Man and I will think about not killing you!"

I read the clue while Wonka struggles for air. After dropping him. I tell Logan " we are going to Piccadilly Circus!"

" Sure thing..." He looks down again!

" My Face is up here Idiot! " I growl. I don't know where my armor went, or where this bikini! Came from but at least I have spare armor in a capsule along with the invulnerable cape .

Bah! If I do not change back soon I will relase kakarot on this place let him eat it then I will slaughter Wonka and the ugly creatures , and burn this factory to the ground!

I start to run out of the exit when I notice my new breasts jumping around, how do women run with these things? Yet there is also another problem, " Logan stop looking at my butt!"

Someone is going to be hurt for this ... Badly. But I can't think of that now I have to get to the finish line. " I will not tell you again Rodent!!!! Stop looking at me like that!!!"


Blogger Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

Well that candy seems fine for you guys, but what about those of us without Sayain powers or mutant healing factors?

10:37 AM  
Blogger Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

Though I do have to say that you as a woman looks pretty good.

10:38 AM  
Blogger Vegeta said...

Do not eat the candy is my only advice

1:17 PM  
Blogger A Army Of (Cl)One said...

come on admit it, you're going sit in the hotel room all night playing with them.

After seeing what happed to you, I'll go with making the candies.

4:32 PM  
Blogger Professor Xavier said...


I really feel for your *snicker* plight. If you need some new outfits, I can ask Psylocke if she has any extra costumes lying around. *snicker* I hope you don't mind thongs, Vegeta. *snicker*

8:38 PM  
Blogger Merlyn Gabriel said...

"I start to run out of the exit when I notice my new breasts jumping around, how do women run with these things?"

hon, it's called a sports bra!

Very funny!!!! Watching Logan turn into a girl was just Hi-larious!

5:01 AM  
Blogger Paula Abdrool said...

I don't like to belittle my sisters, but you have just a teensy bit of cottage cheese flab there on your buttocks. Doesn't really look that sexy in the red thong bikini. You might want to think about doing some lunges. Just FYI.

6:52 AM  
Blogger A Army Of (Cl)One said...

Ouch!!! Paula get catty.

10:51 AM  
Blogger Randy said...

Yo dog, that creamy strawberry looks delicious.

It's Wolverine and jelly time! It's Wolverine and jelly time!

4:52 PM  
Blogger Simon said...

Well, they qre quite firm and perky, hard not to stare. And your bum is divine. Perhaps you should consider keeping this looking permanently. Almost makes up for your lack of intelligence.

5:55 PM  
Blogger Vegeta said...

you disparging my intelligence Simon? Bah! it it would be amusing if was not so sad you pathetic little unevolved creature.

1:21 AM  

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