Friday, March 02, 2007

The twist in China

Well we finally depart from Skull Island by Kong Air. The service was really good and the seats were big enough for Cal. The menu was basic but the Sea Cucumber in Sweet Thai Chilli Sauce was delicious.
Kong Air - Fly Kong we never go Wong

We arrive in Bejing and are greeted by a Party Offical.
"Dr Peters, welcome. We heard you were comming to China again." His name is Kwan. I delt with him the last time I came to China hiding from SHIELD. "Unfortunately we cannot provide services like the last time you were here."
"Thats OK I'm only here for AMR3." I tell him.
"We do know that Dr Peters however, this issue with the LMD's that have been attacking you. At this time we can no longer offer you our protection." Kwan was diplomatic.
"Cal and I can take care of the LMD's Kwan." I answer. Cal folds his arms and gives Kwan his best "I'm the tough guy" look.
"What I mean is that we will not be looking the other way if you cause any, trouble. At least until after the Olympic Games." If Kwan's tone wasn't so serious. I would have lauged.
"I understand. Thanks for the warning Kwan." With that Kwan left.
So China is no longer the bad guys paradise it once was. Well some bad guys (Microsoft, Wal-Mart, HYDRA and the Republican Party) still get special treatment but not this evil genius.
"This would never had happened in the Mao's China." I complained in the cab. "In Mao's China they would have converted the Falun Gong memeber's for us."
The cab drops us off out in the street where we are supposed to find the Falun Gong people.
There are two choices a little hovel

and the Swoo Lin Dong.
"So which one is it?" asks Cal
"What the hell lets go for the nightclub." I answer.

We enter the place its the same as every other kind of nightclub. Loud music, bright lights. Girls looking for girls, guys looking for guys and then there were some others.
I don't know what she's looking for. But I didn't want to find out.
We get to the bar, the bartender comes over.
"Were looking for enlightenment from the wheel of law?" I ask him.
"Is that a drink mister?" the barman asks back.
"No its a system of mind and body cultivation practised by Falun Gong." I answer. His face goes blank and he runs into a back room.
"Well that didn't work Koma." complained Cal.
Seconds later two rather large guys walk up to us.
"The management requires that you leave. NOW!" Grunts the smaller of the large guys.
"Ok." I answer and the large guys follow us all the way out.
"Gee Koma that worked, NOT." complains Cal."You've been here before Koma. Don't you have some contacts or something?"
I call some HYDRA buddies. They tell me that the hideout was the little hovel opposite the Swoo Lin Dong. In fact as we get back to the little hovel we see Tak racing after Angel who's running inside the Swoo Lin Dong. I don't think Angel is going to want to leave for a while.
We enter the hovel and there are a few people in there.
"Have you come to convert us to a new religion too?" gripes one of the Gongers.
"Unfortunately, yes." I answer.
"Then you too will be punished for proselytizing, along with these cultists." said the barman from the Swoon Lin Dong. Who as we later learnt was with the secret police.
He also had some backup.

"Kill them and make sure their bodies don't get found until after the Olympics." orders the ex-barman.
"I'm too pretty die." squeals Brad the cameraman.
I draw my blaster. I could have drawn my neural destabiliser but it just feels better when your opponent looses body parts. Cal knocks out a few and the rest run off. The ex-barman just stands there, furious. Cal and I walk up to him.
"Hi-yah!" he screams and tries to kick Cal in the face. Cal just grabs the leg and dangles him in the air like a doll.
"Dude your Chinese and you scream Hi-Yah! That is so stereotyped." comments Cal.
"He works for the secret police. Don't you." I deduce.
-Ptui!- he spits at me. "You will be dead by morning." he says in defiance.
"Should we torture him?" asks Call.
"Please you have already caused too much violence in our defense." protests one of the Gongers.
"Your right." I agree. Also, torture done right takes time and we're in a race. "Cal just knock him out and we'll leave him here with the others."
But there was still the Raodblock to contend with.
"Ummm if we don't get some kind of conversion from at least 5 of you we don't win the race." I tell them as they begin to walk away. "It doesn't have to be a real conversion." I offer. They keep on walking away.
And then I remember and old favour I can call on.
"I can get you guys out of China. All you have to do is agree to being Catholic." I smile as they stop walking away.
"You can get all of us out of China?" asks one cautiously.
"Your little group only." I qualify. There's no way Benny would accept all Falun Gong out of China. But a few converts smuggled out wouldn't be too much to ask of His Holiness Pope Benedict XVI.
His holinesses costume for Halloween.
Benny wasn't happy when I called him, but he owed me big time. I made him a synthoid of Pope John Paul II. The old pontif was requiring some help to do his duties as Pope and Benny (who ran THE INQUISITION) offered me a small sum and 3 Hail Mary's. I now have 2 Hail Mary's left.
We leave the new converts to Catholosism in the hands of some nuns who work as spys for the Vatican.
"The lengths you'll go to win this race Koma." says Cal shaking his head.
"I got the Roadblock done didn't I." I say in my defense. "And probably more realistic than the other losers."

Cal and I read the Detour.
"Rickshaw!" complains Cal. "I 'spose I'm pulling the damn thing."
"Could I take your weight Cal." I argue.
"No." replies Cal in a huff.
"You can chose the Detour though." I offer.
"Aid it is then." decides my mutant partner.
Brad and I get in the Rickshaw. As Cal races us off to the Guangzhou Hotel he starts to sing in a deep baratone.
"Well I... Had the time of my life. No I never felt like this before. Yes I swear its the truth and I owe it all to you."
"Oh I love this song." gushes Brad. Who then began singing in perfect falsetto the female part.
I've had some bad things happen to me in this race. But this was the closest to torture it has ever come.

We get to the Hotel and the volunteers are waiting for the time of their lives.

"So where in the world do you guys want to go?" I ask them. "Name it and we're there."
"Disneyland." shouts one.
"Except Disneyland. Cal and I are baned from anything Disney." I reply.
"New York." calls another.
"My Mom's place in Philly." shouts Brad.
I ignore Brad and open up a portal to New York.
We arrive right at the base of the Statue of Liberty. The are all amazed by the size of the statue and the fact they are there. I'm told the novelty of teleportation does wear off, but I've been doing it for a decade now and I still get blown away by it.
After an hour Cal and I get them together I go to open another portal.
"Koma we only have 9 here." Cal tell's me.
"Li's gone to the toilet." says one.
"She told me she was going to get a hotdog." said another.
Then all of the sudden....
"Its the Bea's." screams Brad. "Everyone scatter they're only after Koma and Cal."
Thanks a lot Brad. Not only do we have to find a missing volunteer but the Bea's have turned up.
"Blaster Time." I say to myself.
"Koma thats lame." critiques Cal.
"As if you can come up with something better." I snap back. I start blasting the Bea's and they disappear.
"Well that was weird." says Cal.
"Yeah." I reply.
"Hey Koma great shooting." congratulates Brad."And Li's turned up as well."
'How convenient.' I think.
"Ok everybody." I announce. "Lets all get out of here before the cops arrive." I open a portal back to the Guangzhou Hotel.
"Lets all rest in the bar shall we." I suggest. "Maybe Cal and Brad can do some Kareoke."
"Yeah lets go Cal." enthuses Brad.
So Cal and Brad get up and sing a few duets. They really rocked out on "Try a Little Tenderness". I go and see Miss Li. Sensors check out, she's human.
"Li why did you leave the group?" I ask.
"I was going to run away and live in New York. But when those things flew in I thought they were the Army. So I ran back to the group." she looked at me her eye's stained with tears. She was either the best liar I'd ever met or she was telling the truth.
Time to continue the the time of their lives so I go up to the stage. Brad gives me his mic.
"Okay folks its time to continue the tour." I begin when...
"Koma thats not Brad." yells another Brad running into the bar. I turn and

I wake up in darkness. I begin a sensor sweep and the pain is incredible.
"Arrrgh!" I scream.
Above me is Kerrick. She's smiling wickedly.
"The collar your wearing will keep you in check for long enough, Austin darling. But first I want you to do something for me."
She puts a device in my hand. I know what this is for.
"So you want the passkey for the LMD's don't you." I gather.
"What do you think darling?" she purrs back. "Anyway you either give me the passskey or you loose the race." She turns and the place floods with light. I see the volunteers, Cal and Brad all in chains. "And even if you don't care about this silly race. I might just kill these innocent Chinese kids."
"Great another moral dilema." I grumble. It takes me a few seconds to punch out the passkey. I give it back to Kerrick.
"Of course this works doesn't it?" questions Kerrick. "I think I better test it."
An LMD Bea appears. Kerrick transmits the passkey."Take form Alpha-221." Kerrick orders the LMD and it changes instantly into Goldy.
"Now you wont know who to trust will you Koma?" Kerrick gloats and with a -!voip!- she's and the LMD are gone.

Cal breaks out of the chains and sets Brad and the volunteers free. I deprogram the collar and teleport us all back to the Hotel.
I don't know if these kids had the time of their lives. But what I do know is that I'm not going to enjoy whats coming next.


Blogger Synth-Lin said...

This was quite.... ummm how do I put this. Long. Yes thats it. Long. A lot longer than the others. Maybe you should break up the next post. That is if you actually don't lose this round.

Not that I don't bare a grudge.

Love you all


8:13 AM  
Blogger Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

Is it sacrelicous
to say the Pope looks delicious?

2:49 PM  
Blogger A Army Of (Cl)One said...

If Jon IG had seen that bald women in the Swoo Lin Dong, he would have never left.

As for Kerrick, don't you hate when your work life interfers with you non-work life. This race is tough enough without psyho ex's.

3:18 PM  
Blogger Professor Xavier said...

I'm shocked Cal would suggest torturing a prisoner. That is not the kind of behavior condoned by the X-Men. Never at any time has a torture been a policy approved by my administration. Any incidents that may or may not have occured, and I'm admitting nothing here, were the actions of rogue elements in the team and every effort will be made to correct such unacceptable behavior.

6:33 AM  
Blogger Paula Abdrool said...

Bea Arthur is one of my personal heroes. I think it's very curagous for a man to dress up as a woman. He/she is true to his/herself and a real inspiration for our children!

11:12 AM  

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