Friday, February 16, 2007

Jon and Nightcrawler and the fine shrine

With the ceremonies under way, Reverend Tanaka led us to our next challenge.

“You have two choices,” he said as his arm candy stood next to him. “Choose wisely.”

“A float or a shrine?” Nightcrawler mused. “Float or shrine?”

“I have an idea,” I said. “In fact, I think that I have…”

“Vhat is it?” he asked.

“Time is of the essence, chum,” I answered. “I’ll explain along the way.”

Quickly, we gathered together items needed for this task. We started with the wood, building the basic framework for the shrine. We then (very neatly) stacked the other items, creating a beautiful shrine.

“What the hell is this?” Tanaka asked.

“It’s a shrine,” I beamed. “All of these items are of great significance. They invoke a very deep meaning.”

“A what?” he guffawed. “This is a load of junk. It looks like you just unloaded a nunch of crap from the back of a moving van.”

“Or space ship,” Nightcrawler chuckled quietly.

“Hush,” I said.

“This garbage does not pass,” Tanaka said angrily. “I cannot believe that you would insult my heritage so crassly! I would make you do this again but I am afraid that you would make something far uglier and far more distasteful.”

“No, see let me explain,” I said. “You see—,”

“I do not want to hear it!” he interrupted. “In all of my days, I cannot believe that—,”

“Hey grandfather, great ceremony, huh?” a young lad ran up to Reverend Tanaka. “Whoa! What’s all this cool stuff?”

“That is a mess,” he replied.

“This is our shrine,” Nightcrawler quickly added. “Do you like it?”

“Yeah! What’s that comic book there?”

“That is a very rare four color reprint chronicling the adventures of one of Ithor’s greatest heroes.”
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“Ithor?” the boy asked.

“Yeah.” I leaned forward and got a little bit quieter. “It’s actually from another galaxy.”

“Really? That’s so cool.”

“Say,” I paused for a moment. “You want the comic?”

“Boy would I! Can I, grandfather? Can I have it?”

“Oh I don’t know,” Tanaka answered.

“Please, please grandfather?”

“Let ze nice boy have it,” Nightcrawler urged.

“Very well,” the reverend conceded.

The kid cheered and grabbed the comic.

“Wait wait,” I said. “Before he takes it, would you be so kind as to bless this shrine?”

“I knew this was coming. I cannot bless this atrocity.”

“Aw come one,” I said. “Do it for the kid.”

“Please, grandfather?”

“Oh, very well,” he grumbled. He then raised his hand and blessed the shrine in his native tongue.

“Vhy is your hand like zat?” my mutant teammate asked. “Are you OK?”

“Yes, yes, just a bit of arthritis,” he answered. “Now just get out of here.”

With our task completed, we quickly ran for the Pit Stop.

“Vow, I quite surprised at our behavior here in Japan,” Nightcrawler said as we ran. “Could ve be any more offensive?”

“I suppose,” I said. “Maybe we could say penis a bunch of times.”


Blogger Paula Abdrool said...

Now I'm blushing! You said "penis a bunch of times."

9:20 AM  
Blogger A Army Of (Cl)One said...

Who would have though a bunch of penises would cause paula to blush.

So did the kid tell you "No time for love Dr. Jon!" ?

2:32 PM  
Blogger Simon said...

Good God that sucked. It was like having to watch a wretched ABC family channel speical that is so bad they only air it on Saturday afternoon. Utter crap.

And then there is your shrine. You and AOC must have been goofing off in the corner and missed that the theme was supposed to apply to the shrine.

2:52 PM  
Blogger A Army Of (Cl)One said...

Strange I thougt the theme was "to (honor) the divine spirits and ancestors of the people of the village that commemorates their place of honor in the community."

But you are right. the shrine would look better with a couple of pricks near then. Care to wander over and ...

SNAP!! :p

5:50 PM  
Blogger Professor Xavier said...

Here Jon had a chance to let his inner frat boy go wild and instead we got Mr. Rogers. Mr. Rogers with a sonic wrist blaster.

6:33 PM  
Blogger Simon said...

Since you are already there, the requirement has been met.

6:49 PM  
Blogger Gyrobo said...

So, the people of Cipango value the "funnybooks."

That will come in handy during my report to the King and Queen.

8:20 PM  
Blogger A Army Of (Cl)One said...

Ouch!! A Simon SNAP to me. must work harder to make next SNAP more painful :)

2:29 AM  

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