Thursday, February 15, 2007

AOC: What the Shinto?

Angel and I enter the Shinto Temple. I have been working on several Fertility Prayers, but I must that beign a clone trooper I have very little exprence with “fertility” issue or for that matter prayer issues. I had to think some of the thing I have overheard Jedi Master Kenobi say on our missions.

“Psst, Tak. Did you just paint your helmet?” Angel inquires

Tak and Angel in Shinto 3

“”Yep, and these robes were swiped from the last Hotel where we stayed. We are in like Flinn. Or Flinntogawa as the case may be.”

Angel just rolls his eyes.

Standing in from of the congregation, I feel a little nervous. Then with a deep breath I slowly say the first Prayer.

shinto cermony

It is now fertility week
So look for that person you seek
Then whisper and kiss
Make them find bliss
And maybe they might let you peek

The priest translates and everyone just stares at me.

I try another prayer to the fertility gods.

We are here to celebrate fertility
We must all use our best civility
So take my advice
And be extra nice
She might show you her agility

The congregation murmurs a little, but it sounds nothing like approval. I try again.

She is opening like a flower
But your plow is lacking power
Just take the blue pill
To give her a thrill
But you have to wait about an hour.

Four of the older member of the flock nod approvingly and smile. I must be getting closer.

If your gal is acting fertile
Give her a very nice smile
If you aren’t crass
And don’t act like an ass
The next stop will be a perpendicular style

This time the crowd whoops and hollers and the Priest gives Angel the next clue.

We find out that we need to build a float or build a shrine. We decide on a Shrine, mainly to get away from the crowds of drunken horny fertility ‘worshippers.

As I start to look for building supplies I hear the sound of plastic blocks being dumped out. Angel looks at me and says “What, so I took a bunch of Lego from the Mall of America. I know they would come in handy. Help me build a shrine.”

I jump into work. And hour later Angel and I have competing “shrines”

“I think mine has a simple design with clean lines and will appeal to the minimalist approach that the Shinto religion seeks with life in balance.” I smugly tell Angel.

“Mine doesn’t look like crap!” Angel retorts.



As the priest approaches, Ralph trips over my “Shrine” and destroys it. Dang his clumsiness.

The priest looks over our team’s effort and gives it a passing mark.

As we leave the village we see a giant Lego Batman heading towards the Shrine we just built as villager run screaming from the festival.

lego batman

As we leap into a taxi, telling the driver to head to the Nagoya Hilton, I wonder how far ahead the other contestants are. Not far I hope …


Blogger Simon said...

I'm not sure, but it seems to me that your shrine is lacking something....

something important....

oh yes, that's right. You forgot to incorporate the theme.

As for Batman raiding the fertility festival... well are we really that surprised. It is TV's Adam West, after all.

4:46 PM  
Blogger Professor Xavier said...

Your Photoshop skills are . . impressive. No, no . . that's not the right word. Lacking? Yes, that sounds more accurate.

Interesting use of the Limmerick rhyme scheme for your prayer. Defintely gave me a chuckle.

5:02 PM  
Blogger A Army Of (Cl)One said...

Prof X: A blind mohel (look it up) with Parkinsons holding a rusty pair of scissors during a 9.5 earthquake could do a better cut and paste photochop then I do.

Simon: Thank goodness that Angel has some skill at Legos.

5:33 PM  
Blogger Randy said...

Yo dog, that prayer was out of sight!
And that Batman is all right.

2:43 PM  
Blogger Gyrobo said...

Never before in my whole life
Have Lego Batmen stalked the night
From Lego towers to Lego shrines
Across the vast expanse of time
To turn fiesta into fright.

8:50 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home