Tuesday, February 20, 2007

Welcome to the jungle

Hmph! The whole time we were sitting on the junk, Logan was eating ribs. Damn I am starving. Where the Hell did he get those on this leaky boat? Now he has KFC? What is there a restaurant behind the rat's nests? Perhaps I do not want to know where he is getting this food. Whatever he has been taunting me with if for the last hour. Finally,we arrive on the so called "Skull Island".

The natives tell me that they have served a feast in our honor, and eating it is the first challenge. When the lizard entrails, and other good smelling food stuffs are presented I see Logan turn green.

I glare at him. " You have been eating the whole way here, this food is mine now freak!"

He grimaces. " Ya can have it bub!"

After I finish that table's food,and several others. I feel my strength return. One of the villagers exclaims " He has eaten our winter supplies!" They have winter on an island with dinosaurs? Who knew?

I find Logan behind a tree, vomiting. " What is wrong with you?" I ask.

" Ya ate fried worms, lizard, and stuffed eels, a lot of it!"

I shrug " They are not as bad as Bulma's cooking, the lizard intestine needed salt though. I have our next clue."

He stared at me for a second. "How can ya talk to these natives ?"

" Low level telepathy, now here's the next challenge." After I explain the next ones I say " Now here is what we are going to do, we are going to combine the challenges."

" Say what now?"

" We make the dinosaur fight, a show for King Kong. Even if he does not like it we will still have succeeded in a challenge."

" Sounds good ta me ."

Later after some preparations....

An announcer yells in the Skull Island stadium yells. " Welcome too the Monster fighting federation!" None of the natives actually understood him since he spoke English, but they liked the pretty lights, and the huge ring, so they cheered.

"Our main event will be the Tag team of Vegeta and Wolverine Vs Angry Dinosaurs and other surprise monsters! They can only win if the they throw each and evrey creature out of the ring!"

Good the noise has attracted King Kong, he watches intently. The Capsuletron over the stadium, blares with my entrance video.

When Logan comes out he finds I have changed, his entrance video with this.

" That ain't funny Bub!" He growls.

" You are right it is hilarious!" I look around the area, It seems our announcers are Lobo.

And the effeminate insurance commercial caveman.

"I hate these two!" The cave man whines in his microphone. " They are always drinking, and hurting people why can't we all just get along?"

Lobo stares " What are ya talking about? These two know how to make their mark in monster fighting, by being smashmouth, and not caring if people think they are "nice" Ya stupid Bastich!"

I shake my head , as the dinosaurs are herded into the ring my name is yelled over the Capsuletron, It is Bulma ,and I do not like the look on her face.

" Vegeta ! You got me drunk, and had me parade around in public on that stupid float of yours!"

I shrug " I cannot help it if your inner stripper comes out after you drink a little , besides you wanted to do it you just drank for what did you call it? 'liquid courage'"

She huffs " I don't remember that Mister! Well the producers let me rig your ring with some power draining devices, so you can't ki blast, turn super saiyan, or fly. Your going to just have your strength , and durability. Have fun ! if you win we do that thing I won't let you do. If you lose you have to finish the race in a pink outfit deal?"

I smirk. " Deal!"

Logan starts yelling " Are ya insane? Do ya really think ya can beat all O' these monsters with out your energy projection?"

" Yes." I state punching, and grabbing a stegasaurus and knocking some other dinos out of the ring. " She has turned a cake walk into an interesting challenge, I have never been more turned on by her."

Logan attacks a pterodactal that he says "reminds him of someone. "

" Ya know I think yer both nuts."

" From you Logan that is a compliment."

I toss logan at a T- Rex. Which gets Lobo excited as he yells "Fastball Special! Fastball Special!"

"Ooh I'm against that!" the caveman cries. "All us prehistoric brothers should stick together!"

" Your kiddin'!" Lobo replies. " ya don't eat dinosaurs or mammoths?"

" No I only eat tofu. "

Lobo stares in disbelief." You have got be the sissiest cave man I've ever seen!"

" You've been talking to my dad !" The cave man starts crying.

Just as I'm about to get rid of the the last of the dinosaurs more jump into the ring. But some of these are transformers, Bulma must be mad.

Less impressive, was those Voltron ripoff kids the Power Rangers in their robots.

Which combine into this thing.

The robots and a couple of dinosaurs all team on me and start stomping, last thing I see is the full moon, Full moon? Yes! Hahhahahahahahahaaha!

Logan snarls . " Dammit ! They killed Veg head! I 'll dance on his Flamin' grave after I take care O' you future boots. "Ya ain't gonna get me! I'm the best there is at..."

I bust out of the pile up of monsters , and robots in my ape form.

My voice makes the ground tremble as I speak. " Rodent shut up! if I have to hear your catch phrase one more time I'm to step on you!"

Logan's mouth gapes open. " That's you Vegeta ya turn into a giant money now ? What? Do ya make up powers as ya go along?"

" No! " I reply. " This happens when I see a full moon. I have an idea on how to win this match ."

As I concentrate on tossing more big lizards out, Logan. runs up to the power rangers robot thing. Claws a opening, and comes up through the floor of the control room. Where he punches he one ranger that attacks him in the gut.

" Next one that tries that gets these !" He spits as he shows them the claws.
" Now move over I'm drivin' this rig now."

After the giant robot does some jerky movements. It then break dances for a couple of minutes. Then starts doing ballet. I realize that Wolverine is not the best mech driver in the world.

Finally he does as I ask, and flips off the Dinobots. He charges them and they begin to tear the badly made giant robot apart. Logan jumps out And while they are distracted I push, the Dinobots and the Powerangers over the top rope ,and out of the ring. Winning the match.

" Damn " Logan sighs. " First giant monsters then, robots, If aliens with tentacles in weird places show up I'm outta here."

I laugh. " Do not worry I blew up their home planet years ago . We then watch as The Dinobots blow up the Power Rangers. " Think their dead?" Logan questions.

I shrug my massive shoulders . " Who cares?"

I see Bulma on the outside pf the stadium , and I wink at her.
After I transform back I am going to be having some fun. Because hey a deal is a deal.

The annoucers get into some fight over the fact that Lobo keeps plugging his finacial show on Faux News. So those two end up having a very short, and not very good match after ours. the cave man's next of kin will soon be contacted to pick up his remains.

Seems King Kong liked the show and was very eager to have his picture taken. He even went into some fake battle poses with us.

Pictures taken by SHI.

Or he wants to punch Logan not that I blame him evreyone wants to hit Wolverine.
So we get the next clue, and I fly us towards the hovel 100 yards away I can see the faces of the natives. Their looks are priceless you'd think they'd never have seen a flying giant ape before.


Blogger Professor Xavier said...

Just as wellfor that caveman. His whining was getting a bit old. It's always best to leave on a high note.

6:37 AM  
Blogger Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

You turn into that when you see a full moon? Wow, you're just like Fang Face!

9:40 AM  
Blogger Gyrobo said...

Turning into a giant ape? That's so simple, a caveman could do it!

11:37 PM  
Blogger Vegeta said...

Jon Not really since I'm self aware, and Images of a moon do not change me.

Professor He's time had come .

Gyrobo; Somehwrer the caveman's ghost s crying now ! Ha!

11:45 PM  
Blogger A Army Of (Cl)One said...

This leg of the race was lacking in Bulma booty. Just want to you to know I noticed.

And next tiem leave some food for the rest of us.

5:57 PM  
Blogger Bulma said...

My milkshake does bring ratings.

5:13 AM  

Post a Comment

<< Home