Friday, February 09, 2007

Jon and Nightcrawler: Poker? Darn near killer her!

“Ow, not so loud,” I winced. “My head is killing me.”

“You may have survived an hour of drinking vith Volstagg,” Nightcrawler replied. “But now you’re hungover vhile he’s still drinking.”

“Yeah, I know.” I rubbed my temples. “That’s the last time I go toe-to-toe with a god. Gosh, I wish I had a nickel for every time I said something like that. I’d have, like, a dollar thirty eight by now.”

“I suppose zat I vill take the next challenge, then. Though I am not much of a gambler, I’ve played some poker in my day.”

“You can have it.” I groaned and leaned back in my chair. “I’m not much of a poker player anyway, although I did win thirty-eight cents the last time I was in Vegas.”

“Vow, you high roller, you,” Nightcrawler chuckled. “OK, wish me luck.”

“Good luck against Loki,” I said to him. Wow, I think I’m sweating Asguardian Ale right out of my pores. It sure smells like it.

“Wow, you lost that game of poker pretty quick,” I said as Nightcrawler returned with a consternated look on his face.

“I can’t believe he beat me,” Nightcrawler said in awe. “I had a full house with kings high.”

“He must have pulled something, he is the Lord of Mischief, you know.”

“jah vell, maybe fighting four giants was a better idea anyway, huh?” Nightcrawler shrugged.

“I have fought giants before,” I said. “I can do it again.”

“Without modern weapons?” the fuzzy elf prodded.

I thought about that for a moment.

“Maybe we can reason with them,” I suggested.

“Somehow I doubt zat.”

We made our way to Jotunheim and there stood the four giants that we were to engage. Before us lay the various weapons that we could use as well.

“Say fellas,” I called up to them. “You don’t really want to do this do you? I mean, we’re just a couple of little mortals.”

“But we like smashing mortals,” rumbled one.

“Maybe we could do something else instead,” I proposed. “How about a game?”

“We like the game of smashing mortals,” rumbled the second giant.

“You know, now that I’ve had a good look at you,” I said. “Aren’t you formerly known as the knights who say something?”

“Yes,” said the third. “The Knights Who Say Hasn’t This Bit Been Overdone For Crying Out Loud?”

“Alright, alright,” I said. “I still think everyone would be happier if we found another way through this instead of resorting to violence.”

“Hmmm, you do have a point, mortal.” The third giant nudged the fourth. “Maybe we could all sit down and have a nice—”

In mid sentence, the third and fourth giants pounced on Nightcrawler and I. They were quickly followed by the first and second. My teammate and I defended ourselves against the behemoths. Swinging clubs and battle axes wildly, there was no quarter asked and none given. Though they clearly outclassed us in size and strength, the giants could not keep up with our nimbleness. Nightcrawler used his abilities to their fullest, expertly dodging and weaving their clumsy assault. My mutant companion, who hails from a team that pride’s itself on being the best at what they do, and what they do isn’t pretty, kept the giants off guard. I endeavored as well to keep them on their toes. We knew that defeat was but one slip away, but we didn’t have time to stop. We also knew that if we went from acting to reacting, then the battle was as good as lost.

Onward we pressed our foes. Nighcrawler bouncing and teleporting from giant to giant, striking them and I diving and ducking their attacks. Their clumsy swings and kicks eventually grew slower and more plodding. Exhaustion set in on the Storm Giants and soon fatigue as well. Soon after, they were barely able to stand and they were all the more targets for our strikes and counters. In due time, one giant fell unconscious, then a second and a third. The fourth did not last much longer and as the dust settled, Nightcrawler and I walked away victorious in what a Norse God might call a glorious battle, though we took little joy in our fight, we did what had to be done.

“Vow,” Nightcrawler huffed. “We really beat them. Vow.”

“Yeah,” I puffed in agreement. “I’m a bit amazed myself.”

“Und ve did it with only these veapons,” he said while hefting a club.

“Yep,” I agreed. “Just these weapons. That was one of the toughest challenges yet.”

“Jah, mien freund,” Nighcrawler exhaled heavily. “Vait, vhat’s that noise?”

“Uh, what noise?”

“I didn’t notice it before, but I can just barely hear some sort of high-pitched whine.” My mutant partner looked down at my Wristcomm. “Hey, is zat thing on?”

“Oh, well what do you know.” I punched a couple buttons and turned it off. “Looks like it was firing a sonic disrupter at a very low level. We’re lucky it didn’t affect us, huh?”


Blogger Jacky1220 said...

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5:12 PM  
Blogger Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...


6:30 PM  
Blogger Gyrobo said...


6:41 PM  
Blogger Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

Was it something along the lines of "Blah blah bla, I'm Professor xavier. Blah blah blah, I'm so important. Blah blah bla, listen to me?"

7:19 PM  
Blogger Gyrobo said...

Yeah, but there was some drama in the riptide.

12:42 AM  
Blogger A Army Of (Cl)One said...

Dang, I was beat to the Splogg rant and yell.

I got dirt on you Jon. I think I figured out why Paula is alway so nice to you and your little blue friend. Oh yeah, the dirt is comming big man!

2:25 AM  
Blogger captain koma said...

Oh thats Paula.

Gee I thought its was some bimbo who made really bad encouraging comments.....

3:51 AM  
Blogger Professor Xavier said...

You know what the most impressive thing about your adventure was? That you managed to beat giants into unconsciousness with swords and battle axes. Usually those weapons deal death.

And I do have something very important to say. Blah, blah, blah, blah. And don't you forget it.

8:49 PM  

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