Thursday, February 22, 2007

AOC: In The Jungle, The Mighty Jungle ...

Angel secured our passage on the junk steamer, Mannluv. To pay our passage we worked as entertainment. Angel came up with a vaudeville act of singing, dancing and “ribald” humor. (his word not mine.) I told the jokes and Angel acted as the straight man. And what a bit of acting that was.

junk steamer 3

As we arrived at Skull Island, the crew of the Mannluv tossed us overboard and makes us swim to shore. We made our way up the beach and were greeted by the natives of Skull Island.

king kong natives

After a 20 minute show a young lady, Salote Topou, informs us that one of must eat a “native” meal consisting of fried tube worms, stuffed mud eels, sautéed lizard entrails and a few other dishes. One look at Angel’s reaction and I know who is doing this challenge. Even Ralph the cameraman looks a little queasy and that man will eat anything.

somoa girl

I look over the other items on the table. “ So what ate those round steaming thing?”

The young lady smiles “Those are dolphin’s nuts in coconut milk. The brown gooey stuff is boiled and mashed blood beetles and rot grubs. And of course the we have brown bread made from mealworms, tree bark and sand.”

I look at her. “And these are all foods the natives of Skull Island eat?”

She laughs “Good God No!. This is for the tourist. We have an Applebee’s and an Outback Steak house for the natives. What do you think we are, savages?”

tongan girl 2

“Uhh …. No. I was just asking …. Hey went you all Sepia-like just a minute ago?”

She just glares at me and points to the table.

As I chow down the “native” food, Angel and Ralph are making throw-up noise and gagging.

“Would you two shut up or go someplace else. Jeez, a guy can’t eat in peace.” I bark at them, spraying dolphin nuts on Koma in the process. Vegeta seems to be eating enough for a dozen contestants. What is wrong with that guy?

I finish up the meal, belch loudly and ask Salote Topou for our next clue.


“But we have an act already. It will be great. We can do the routine from the ship.” Angel tells me while doing a soft shoe dance.

I look skeptical, “I am not so sure. I would hate to have King Kong react like the crew of the Mannluv did. That was something I was hoping to forget and never have to relive.”

“I am sure it won’t be like that” Angel says with a dreamy far-away smile. I shrug and we go off to entertain King Kong with our Vaudeville act.

We get dressed and jump out in front of King Kong, who doesn’t look like the best audience.


“Hey Angel, Why did the banana leave town?

“I don’t know, TAK, why?”

“cuz he had to SPLIT!”

Baadaadum. Where did the rim shot come from?

“Hey Angel, I heard that cute coconut says she likes you!”

“Really TAK, Why?”

“She says you have a peel!”

Baadaadum. Kong is not looking to amused. In fact he is looking hungry.


“Uhh Angel, do you think our Banana routine is working?” I whisper

“Of coarse, What could be better then two guys in Banana suit, telling banana jokes?” Angel grins


“Angel, you got rid of those bananas you were eating, right?” I ask

“No, I put them in my pockets for later, Why?”

“Because now we look like bananas and WE SMELL LIKE BANANAS!!! RUN!!!!!” I scream

We run less then 100 feet before King Kong swoops us up and pops us in his mouth. Just as we are headed down his throat, the banana suits are sucked off us, Angel’s wings pop open and Kong coughs/spits us out.

Angel manages to fly up. I hurl towards the ground, hit a palm tree, which bends and fling me thought the air. Just as I am about to hit the jungle floor, King Kong catches me. I breath a sigh of relief as Kong jumps about in joy with a deep guffawing laugh. I give him a thumbs up and he flings me at the tree again.

A half hour and 23 tree tosses later, Kong takes us over to the stage for a picture.

kong angel tak

Angel, Ralph the Cameraman and I then make our way back to the village. I see the Medicine Man in the distance and we make our way towards his hut.

medicne man


Blogger Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

Uh, so were you the girl banana or the boy banana?

11:25 PM  
Blogger Gyrobo said...

Back when I was a kid, Skull Island didn't have fast food restaurants. We had to go to diners like the threadbare carpenter ants we were.

11:50 PM  
Blogger Wolverine said...

An' now Vegeta knows where I got the food, Shull island food delivery . oddly it's it's a pterodactal.

Yeah i missed Bulm's booty this round too

3:25 AM  
Blogger A Army Of (Cl)One said...

JOn: wiht Angel a my partner, do you really have to ask that question?

7:02 PM  
Blogger captain koma said...

I found this post intelligent, funny, and the humor was ribald.

But really the Sean Connery find a cure for cancer in the amazon. Sheesh! At least my post has a real medicine man and his collection on soft porn.

PS sorry i didn't put in your dolphin nuts. I just wasn't sure I could mention it.

7:37 PM  
Blogger Professor Xavier said...

I have to admit, dressing up like a bannana for Kong probably wasn't a very good idea. By any chance did Koma suggest it to you?

9:32 AM  

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