Wednesday, January 10, 2007

AOC: When Life Gives Your Frozen Lemons... pt1

After we leave St. Paul by train I begin to think that part of this race is endurance. Mainly having the endurance to listen to Angel talk on about his “issues”. How his dad never accepted his being a mutant, then how his dad tried to encourage him not to be a mutant and finally how his dad tried to cure him of being a mutant …. Blah blah blah. I began to just say “uh huh” and “you're kidding” whenever I heard a pause. Won’t his guy ever shut up?

As we pull into Smallsville, Kansas it look a lot like
Dantooine, a remote and insignificant agricultural planet on the outer rim. This place has outer rim written all over it.

We are greeted by a woman holding a TAK & ANGEL sign.

lanalane_lmb03vs
LANA LANE: "THE QUEEN OF SYMPHONIC ROCK"

I am Lana Lane,” she rasps. “I will be your coordinator for this leg of the race. One of you needs to build a Lemonade stand in front of the Smallsville High School and sell $10 worth of Lemonade.”

Angel gapes, then spits out “I thought you were supposed to be Lana Lane, friend of Superman! Who are you?”

I am Lana Lane the singer, I am huge in Japan.” she replies “The other Lana Lane is dealing with the A list contestants. Let’s go make some Lemonade, boys.”

I was incredulous and managed to finally shout, “You have got to be kidding me!!!! Sell lemonade in January IN KANSAS!!! I realize that it is 36 degrees (Koma, that’s 2 degrees C in Aussie talk) which may seem like a heat wave to these people, but come on!!”

I look at our cameraman, Ralph, who just shrugs.

Once at the school, I quickly build a stand out of bleacher, benches and part of a Lex Luther for school president poster.

After half an hour I am having no luck. I notice some of the female racers are trying to use their looks to make a sale. Well two can play at that game. I quickly change out of my armor and try a new approach.

lemon ade 2
TAK: WORKING HARD FOR THE MONEY

I see Koma’s jaw drop and Caliban laughs out at me “that is the worst Photoshop I have ever seen!”

Boy, that Caliban is dumb, can’t he see that I made a lemonade shop, not some photo shop.

I hear Angel take flight above and behind me. I yell up at him “What are you doing?"

Nothing, I am just admiring the view. Wow, you can see everything from here.” Angel says in a breathless sort of way. I know how he feels, it is cold here.

I see my first customer come running up.

Cyclops
SCOTT: FEELING A LITTLE THIRSTY

Aren’t you one of the competitors?”

Scott face turns a little pink (I guess the cold weather was affecting him) “Uhh, yeah. But our stand isn’t up yet and I am really thirsty. How much for those two big lemons there.” It look like he is point behind the stand a little, but he probably means the one on the stand.

Tell you what you can have both for $10” I smile slyly

Warbird yells something at him, Scott goes bright red and runs off

Dang lost the sale. Just when I was beginning to lose hope, all the women’s sports teams finished practice.

kansas volly ball
SMALLSVILLE WOMEN’S VOLLYBALL

kansas sccoer team
SMALLSVILLE WOMEN’S SOCCER

kansas basketball
SMALLSVILLE WOMEN’S BASKETBALL

They swamped the stand, clamoring to be first in line for a glass of lemonade. All of them shouting out thing like “me first” “gee wiz, is it hot out here or what?” “you would think it would be smaller in this weather” “Oh. I want some now” (actually that last statement was Scotts.)

With all 36 of the young ladies buying lemonade at 35 cents a pop we had money to spare.

Angel, Ralph the cameraman and I sprinted to the train station. Angel had scooped up my armor, telling me there was no time to change. I called my good-byes to
Lana Lane, …

lana_ws_promofoto
LANA LANE: DRESSED FOR THE COLD

… hopped on the train and headed off to Springfield, Missouri. I should have about 4 hours to rest until we find out about the next Detour.

I am just about to nod off when Angel says “You know what hurts the most about my father’s rejection on my lifestyle?”

Dang Dang Dang

TBC

14 Comments:

Blogger captain koma said...

Thanks for the heads up on the temperature. It got to 32C here thats 90F. Didn't even think of the temperature over there.

Thanks.

Koma

4:36 AM  
Blogger Professor Xavier said...

I hope your wearing something down there, Tak. I did mention this is a High School, right?

5:50 AM  
Blogger Cyclops said...

Hey, I was thirsty!

5:51 AM  
Blogger Randy said...

Wow, that Lana Lane is too much. She should be a Cover Girl.

6:28 AM  
Blogger Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

Too bad you don't have a good teammate like Nightcrawler. He and I are like two swashbuckling peas in a pod. Everything's A-OK with us.

Seriously.

9:24 AM  
Blogger Warbird said...

Sure scott

12:33 PM  
Blogger A Army Of (Cl)One said...

Prof X: One of the young woman gave me a towel when she left. Why is there a problem selling lemonade to high scool students while being naked?

Scott and Warbird: Yeah, Scott was just thirsty. He seemed all flush and warm looking when he was over at my booth.

Jon: Angel keeps asking me to Pod with him. I guess if you and nightcawler are that close of a team I should give it a try. You guys Rock!

Koma: Always willing to help out an evil super genius ... no wait I am not. What am I thinking?

2:34 PM  
Blogger Local Henchmen 432 said...

Come on Tak. Lets us you kick @$$.

6:08 PM  
Blogger Professor Xavier said...

Some of those high school students might not yet be ready to behold the sight of a fully revealed clone trooper, that's all I'm saying.

6:51 PM  
Blogger Professor Xavier said...

And for the record, the lady's name is Lana Lang. It rhymes with Tang, which is a delicious Earth beverage. Or at least the official drink of our astronauts.

6:53 PM  
Blogger Paula Abdrool said...

You are an amazing hero who deserves to win this race!

8:21 PM  
Blogger Kon-El said...

Oh Thank Rao I thought my X-ray vision was fouling up . Oh yeah that's gross.

8:59 PM  
Blogger A Army Of (Cl)One said...

Prof X: I know that it is Lana Lang, that is why Angel was so upset to be greeted by Lana Lane. And to be called somethng less then A List contestants hurt Angel also. He thinks it is because he is a "special" Muntant and you dot' understand him.

9:31 PM  
Blogger Gyrobo said...

"And thus, the Universe was created."

12:08 AM  

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