Tuesday, January 09, 2007

Cobra? Bah!

As me and Logan are driving the SUV We see this person Spider-man's greatest fan on the Side walk. Free Image Hosting at www.ImageShack.us He Yells "I want to die! Now that Spidey quit the race!" And Jumps in front of us. Great a nerdy hood ornament. When we finally get to the train station . The camera man asks us while we're boarding the train. " Shouldn't we get that guy medical help?"

I sneer " No he won't learn anything that way."

The train ride was pretty uneventful. Logan's been rather quiet since he found out what happened between me , Bulma , and Pantha. Good. I'd rather not have to listen too him. Except at one point where I was asleep he tried to draw on my face " I woke up enough to say " No." And he sat back down.

Then This idiot disturbs me by yelling " I am NASCAR MAN! You you two hurt my sidekick Mullet Lad!"

He charges us . Logan trips him, and he flies out of the window . " Worst dinner show ever." he mumbles.

We finally reach Smallville. This Beautiful woman greets us.Free Image Hosting at www.ImageShack.us" Hi I'm Lana Lang You'll be Selling lemon ade at The High school."

" Logan that's all you." I say. As time goes on Lana accidentally drinks one of Jon's " Vodka ades." And starts telling me how Kal- El was in High school. Apparently he was a bit of a loser , who couldn't figure out if he wanted to date her or not. Ha!

Well HS Bought the first Lemonade. He Also dragged over Conner Kent.Free Image Hosting at www.ImageShack.us " Aw man I wanna buy it from the hottie." He says pointing at Warbird. "

" I suppose you want me to hurt you eh Kon. Or maybe I should start yelling out your real name ? " I whisper.

His eyes go wide " Fine. "

It was a good idea for me to use Logan to sale these things. Since His fangirls started lining up for lemon ade.Free Image Hosting at www.ImageShack.us Free Image Hosting at www.ImageShack.us One that knows how he likes women to dress. Free Image Hosting at www.ImageShack.us

Then some of the freaky fanboys Free Image Hosting at www.ImageShack.us

And Erifia fan showed up for some reason. Free Image Hosting at www.ImageShack.us

We received the money fairly quick. Drunken Lana gave us or next clue: Go to a road block between good and Evil . Well I'm not helping COBRA that's for sure If anyone is going to rule this planet it will be me. Not that I really want too. So we take the save the scientists challenge.

I grab Kon - El by the collar. " You are coming with us."

" Wait Bub! We can't have any outside help." Logan gruffs

" Is it really help if we kidnap him and make him against his will?" I ask. " Besides He's just a distraction, we're going to do all the work. "

After getting to Springfield, and learning all we can about the Terror Drome we decide to accomplish this mission with our captive,and no Joe help Kon In Full Superboy costume. Walks up to the base. Shakes his head mutters " I hate you both Vegeta and Wolverine. Then starts singing" I think I'm Cute I know I'm sexy" and dancing in front of the base.

The guards are too entranced trying to figure out what this idiot kid is doing to see us sneak in. Now while I'm inside I decide to wreck all their heavy artillery.

" Have with yer little tantrum Bub? Because ya know they're all gonna be down here any second."

" How else do you expect us to find where the eggheads are? We kill most of the troops that attack us. Then leave one alive to interrogate. "

Before he can say anything else, We're deluged by COBRA guards. I easily block thier laser blasts and crush the windpipes of those that get close. The others I blast. Meanwhile Logan carves up the ones that attack him in a bezerker rage. The last two left are two twins.

"Looks like we can interrogate these two."

I punch one twin, and the other one flies back. " Hahahaha! If you hit me. Only my twin feels it."

" What happens when I kick the other one in th' baby maker then bub?" grins Logan. Who kicks the other twin in the groin

The one I'm facing doubles over in pain. " Ha! This is amusing!" I declare slapping him , and his twin takes the pain. After a few minutes they shout The scientists are down in corridor B Cell block 3!"

When we get over there I'm assailed with a sonic attack. Mine and Logan's better than human ears start bleeding. I grab the cobra soldier with the sonic gun and crush it. It and the soldier explode. I'm dogpiled by a bunch more operatives. But now I'm hurt , and angry! I turn Supersaiyan and blast the idiots into dust. I turn and see Logan. Fighting with some ninja in white. Free Image Hosting at www.ImageShack.us

My hearing comes back in time to hear. " They call me Wolverine , And I'm the best there is at what I do. What I do ain't pretty. This ninja's is pretty tough but he's about to find out I'm tougher. Why's that? Because I'm a mutant wit a healin' Factor , and an Adamantuim Skeleton......"

" Logan!" I laugh. " Are you making a talking to yourself while fighting. "

" It's fer The camera. and when they make this into a comic book . "

" Bah!" I answer and Backhand the Ninja into the wall." There problem solved." I tear open the cell door and one of the scientists squeals and french kisses me.

" What the Hell Bulma? How are you here?"

" Thay caught me shopping...And made me work on some crackpot doomsday idea. Don't worry though I made sure it wasn't stronger than you."

" This is why I tell you to take one of the children with you when you go out!" I scold.

" Sometimes I just want to get away from them alright?" she shoots back.

" Hey can we stop wit' the domestic situation here? " Interrupts Wolverine. " We need ta get outta here."

" No!" shouts Bulma ! "You need to stop the Cobra!"

" Fine! Logan you lead them out, I'll take on the whatever this science project is."

My wife winks at me and licks her lips " Your going to get a reward for this baby."

" What am I gonna get?" leers Logan.

Bulma laughs " Nothing from me ugly. That's for sure."

Some old professor pats Wolverine on the shoulder " You'll have our eternal gratitude young man!"

" Great just what I need. Gratitude. Well c'mon times a wastin.' "

As Logan leads the others out . I fly down Into the bowels of the base where Bulma told me this mad science is located. This hooded man comes on screen. " SSSSSSo! The goverment has sssssssent a one man army to take me down?"

" Bah ! I work for no one but my self. Are you the leader here."

" Yesssssss! Call me Cobra Commander! Meet your doom Alien!"

" What Paris Hilton?" Free Image Hosting at www.ImageShack.us

" Yesssss! A clone enhanced with cyberneticssssss from that Briefssss woman . And a nuclear power ssssssource. From the Nuclear sssssscientist.. And finally ssssshe's filled with every known diseasssssse to man I Call her Typhoid Parissssssss!"

The clone looks at me. " I'm going to destroy the world so COBRA can like totally repopulate it and some junk. That's Hawt!"

She runs at me with uncanny speed I dodge just in time. No way am I letting anything with that many viruses touch me. I"m going to have to have a long talk with Bulma about making cybernetic death machines when this is over.

I keep dodging and I think it;'s trying to sucker me in with Drunken Monkey Kung Fu. Then I realize it's just drunk. It flashes me when I wince she leaps Into the sky then falls toward me . I think to myself " Perfect. SUPER GALICK GUN!"

The blast hurls her into space. Over towards The Kree empire there it explodes I hear they still haven't recovered from all the sicknesses yet. Good I hate the Kree.

Cobra Commander yells " Noooo! Thissss Issssn't over we'll meet again!"

I smirk. " For your sake you better hope not." As I fly out I notice The Ninja , the twins and any body else that wasn't a foot soldier escaped. The rest me, and Logan slaughtered.

Duke reluctantly gives us the location of the next Pit Stop. Some cowboy museum. Because Bulma wants to sit in my lap on the way back, Logan drives the SUV.. He drives like a maniac, which is good for a race.

" I have something else for you well besides what your going to get when we get to be alone. " Bulma smiles . It's a device in case Koma Telports any where near you during the race he'll be rerouted to that place in West Hollywood Randy keeps talking about ."

" HA!"

Meanwhile Back at the Terror Drome .....Kon- El Is still in the front of the building.

" Um guys can I stop now? It's gettin' late. Wolvie ? Veg? "

A coyote howls in the distance.

" Gulp! Anybody?"


Blogger Randy said...

Yo dog, that was too much! Wolverine may look like a Mutt, but he sure does fight like a Big Bear!

6:40 PM  
Blogger A Army Of (Cl)One said...

Once agian, Veg and Logan leave a wake of death, destruction and mayhem.

Man are you guys cool!!! would it be too much to ask for an autograph at the next Pit Stop?

7:13 PM  
Blogger Simon said...

Your wife makes nuclear powered cybernetic skanktastic robots? Why am I not surprised. Though on second thought, that thing could cause considerable havoc on this planet.

7:36 PM  
Blogger Professor Xavier said...

I didn't know Wolverine had Fan-Girls too. I need to get out of the mansion more.

8:23 PM  
Blogger Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

That one fan girl's a hottie.

11:32 PM  
Blogger captain koma said...

I read that.
Now I can use that against you two dimwits.


4:41 AM  
Blogger Professor Xavier said...

Yes, but apparently you can't review "porn" at your uptight, reactionary library. Who would have thought it, a master of evil having to use a public library to access the Internet?

5:45 AM  
Blogger Warbird said...

I think purchasing from family should have been not allowed

12:33 PM  
Blogger Robin said...

Kon you don't know how badly you're going to suffer when Bart reads that! He is going to ask so many questions and send so many emails to every superhero about why you did that!


1:06 PM  
Blogger Bulma said...

"Your wife makes nuclear powered cybernetic skanktastic robots? Why am I not surprised. Though on second thought, that thing could cause considerable havoc on this planet. "

That was all Cobra Commander's idea, It's not like bulding skank bots is my hobby or anything, really it's not. Why are you all staring at me like that?

2:27 PM  
Blogger Local Henchmen 432 said...

Even A.I.M. wouldn't make a Hilton Bot.Ewww....

6:03 PM  
Blogger Paula Abdrool said...

You are an amazing hero who deserves to win this race!

8:22 PM  
Blogger Kon-El said...


8:52 PM  
Blogger captain koma said...

Hey I made a Hilton synthoid. Man the programming for white trash mode was so hard. Circuitry has high level of self esteem it wont degrade itself unless you program it to and even then its got to be a virus. Lets hope Lin doesn't get the white trash virus.


10:43 PM  
Blogger Gyrobo said...

I knew something was weird about those twins, the way they were braiding each others' hair and such.

12:15 AM  

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