Wednesday, January 24, 2007

EVIL Scott-knievel of the dead....


So we are given the next task… Scott was being obnoxious, "Hey Hudson.. did you see I am on a billboard.. Yeah man… "

"I am on a billboard.. I am on a bill board.." Scott sung… As Xavier told us our next task I smiled…once we reach the canyon I put my hand on Scott's, "You know you have to make this jump… Me being pregnant and all I can't"


"ME!?!?!" He runs over to the Professor, "Professor, my X-men insurance don't cover jumping over canyons?"

Xavier smiles, "Don't worry Scott you will do fine.."

"Scott whimpers, "What if the bike fails… I mean I am not Logan I do not have a healing factor.."

The bald mentor smiles broadly, "Really? Oh well you wont need it.. I ordered these cycles from a reliable source..:"


(ORDER YOUR EVIL KNIEVEL CYCLES NOW BEFORE THEY ARE ALL GONE!!!!)


"Scott.. Are you ready?" I called… I look at him, "Scott.. Evil Knievel had more girls than he could handle.."

"Really?" He asks looking around, "Okay Where is the Rocket cycle?"

"Um Hey What's up Doc.. You Scott Summers?" A fury little rabbit said

"Yeah.." Scott whimpered…

"Got your Cycle right here.." the bunny stated…

Suddenly Scott whimpered… "Carol we have to build them.."

"Well start building it!" I yell at him



I look at Mac our cameraman who whispered to me, "Hey I bet ya 5 dollars he doesn’t make it"


Scott finally was ready… "Ready Scott?"


Scott half smiled, "I think I saw this on a Saturday cartoon once…"



"What cartoon would that be?" I asked as he made the jump…. Yelling the whole way…


To my surprise he made it… With a perfect Landing… "Carol I made it!" He gasp getting out with vomit all over him…

"Don't hug me." I said as I watched him lift one leg out .. As he lifted the other leg the rocket cycle exploded….

I rolled my eyes and had Mac put him in the SUV….

Raccoon City…

It was deserted… except for the screams in the distance…

As we entered I saw Scott heading for the locker .. "What are you doing?"

"We are killing right?" He mumbled…

"No true heroes try to save people besides.. I am pregnant." I said…

Just then something jumped out at me…. "MOMMY!" it screamed…

"UGH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO SCOTT GET IT OFF!" I yelled.. and then blast it…

"MOMMY MOMMY MOMMY!" it moaned as it came at me….

Scott just sat looking, "Some mother you are going to be.."

"Scott get the damn weapons NOW!" I screamed as I blast it over and over….




Scott and I made way for the locker…. Scott turned a corner and disappeared.. Mac was gone I was alone… "Ohhh Look its Mommy…. See you met my zombie friend… hey MOM care for a DRINK!"

I blasted the doll and it got up and charged at me with a knife…. "SCOTT WEAPONS AND A LITTLE HELP NOW!"
Chucky laughed, "Come on you LUSH you know you want it!"

Finally Scott showed up… and blasted the zombie baby and doll… "Where is Mac?" Scott inquired

"What do you mean where is MAC isn't he with you?" I said angrily I took a few guns, "GREAT now we have to find our camera man.."

As we searched for our missing cameraman I heard someone saying.. "Don't just stand there, help me…. Give me something…. HELP!"

Scott and I rushed over…. The streets were fully of the zombies…. One of them moaned, "Brians Brians Brians…"

Another zombie stopped and slapped it, "No you idiot it's Brains!"

"Brains this zombies!" I heard Scott shot a beam through them….

"HELP US!" a moan called… "We are trying to get to you…" I called back… One, A 29-year-old English man with a dead-end job and only one true friend in his whole miserable life, didn't exactly put his best foot forward but now he was beating the hell out of Zombies with a piece of wood….

Scott and I began ripping through the zombies






and got to the 3 survivors… "Is everyone okay?"

"Yeah I am Shaun, I left one dead in job where employees step on me.. Only to get a different one where the employees try to eat my brains.." He said….

"Stop talking about eating… I haven't ate and I am hungry!" Scott shouted and then smiled… "LOOK A McDonalds.."

He ran over like a child.. "Scott I don't think we should split up.. We have to find Mac and get these people to safety…. While still finishing our task of killing Zombies.."

It was no use he just shouted back.. "What harm can a happy meal do?"

The fat man named Edgar laughed in a thick English voice, "Famous last words."

Too that I heard Scott scream, "ZOMBIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Shaun and the others just shook their heads and stated in unison, "DUH! Anyone who works in a fast food restaurant is a Zombie.. Everyone knows that!"

Because of Scott stomach we were surrounded by Happy Ronald McDonald employees…

"Welcome to McDonalds can I get you anything to go with your BRAINS!" this scary one said…

I looked at Scott, "GET UP SCOTT AND BE A MAN… Let's kill them all!" I said as I began flying and firing at the mobs of zombies….

These things came at in hordes then after we killed all of one Horde there was a sudden burst of another horde…

Just then I heard someone one say, "This is great action guys keep it going.."
"MAC where have you…" I stopped in mid sentence….

Shaun went to hit him.. "ZOMBIE PAPARAZZI!"

"NO " I yelled, "We need him alive!"

"Scott looks like we have to do the cure… " I ordered…

Edgar looked at me, "You know that is Zombie Central.."

"We have to cure MAC or we loose this leg.." I sigh

"That rough.." Shaun sighed… "Mind if we don't go with you… I mean you can't save us if you are turned to Zombies right."

"We need the cure stuff.." I looked at Shaun, "Where is it?"

"Its in the 28 Days Lab…" Shaun pointed as we approached Scott began whimper like a cocker spaniel…

Shaun looked at me, "You really going in there… "


I nodded yes, "Mac, Stay close but not too close…"

"Carol did you hear them.. Zombie Central…" Scott whined…

We couldn't get in from the entrance as the way was blocked by zombies eating a poor red cross girl…

Zombies started coming at us from the streets behind....






"We go through the roof." I said…

I came crashing down into the building firing blasts at Zombies.. Scott and Mac not far behind…

When the smoke clears we begin moving around… We found an employ of the umbrella corporation banging his head over and over on his desk…

"Looks like this one a Zombie too." I say to Scott…

"Nope he isn't … He just works for the Customer relations department…" Scott replied…
As I searched around cubicals Scott disappeared again... I followed Mac and found him..
"Hey Babe.. Worked here long?" Scott tried to be suave…

"Scott she is a zombie.." I said

"So…" he answered

"So she will eat your brains!" I yelled

He winked at her, "OH she can eat my brains any day!"

I rolled my eyes and fired a shot killing her… Scott began pouting… "Man I was going to get me some action.."
It seemed the more we killed the more that was there

Finally we find the cure… "Scott if we can Vaporize this the fumes will cure everyone…"

"Okay…." Scott and I created an explosion and the vapor gas filled the area like fog…

I looked at Mac, "Welcome back to the living.."

Scott looked at me, "Can we get out of here?"

"Sure We can stop and get some food," I say

"Better not go to Mc D's perhaps by Burger King….." Scott said…. "What could be wrong with BK?"

19 Comments:

Blogger A Army Of (Cl)One said...

AHHHHH! it is Trooper BK 001! Kill him quick or he will cause your face to get all freaky plastic and weird.

He is worse then the Zombies!!!!

5:26 PM  
Blogger Paula Abdrool said...

I loved it! Your story was like creamy peanut butter on toasted whole wheat with a bog Dill pickle!!

6:48 PM  
Blogger Tony Stark Iron Man said...

Yaa! The evil doll with rum! Away foul beast!

7:03 PM  
Blogger Randy said...

Scott. Dog. You better shape up because Warbird needs a man.

7:54 PM  
Blogger Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

There are many things in this world that are creepier than the Burger King. I can name none of them right now.

11:16 PM  
Blogger A Army Of (Cl)One said...

That Shaun look like a good bloke to go have pint with. Scott on the other hand ...

12:20 AM  
Blogger Professor Xavier said...

X-Men insurance? What X-Men insurance? Don't give them any ideas Warbird.

8:30 AM  
Blogger Mr. Bennet said...

Professor, I think we should talk about having a Roadblock requiring your contestants work for me at Primatech Paper. Your show could use the publicity and I could use the free labor.

12:27 PM  
Blogger A Army Of (Cl)One said...

I think that is a bad idea. first, your office seems to make people dead and second, did you see the copier accident I had when forced to work in a office.

12:44 PM  
Blogger Mr. Bennet said...

Aw, is the big, bad Republic trooper scared of a paper cut?

1:12 PM  
Blogger Mr. Bennet said...

Besides, I'm sure X-Men insurance would cover it....in SALT!! BWA HA HA HA HA HA!

Sorry, I'm half evil :(

1:42 PM  
Blogger Professor Xavier said...

Isn't the jury still out on the level of your evil? Personally I'm getting the idea you are pretty much all evil. No offense.

7:41 PM  
Blogger Mr. Bennet said...

I'm right smack dab in the middle. I think I'd know my own evilness, don't you?

7:49 PM  
Blogger Professor Xavier said...

Don't take this the wrong way, but Dr. Doom thinks he's a pretty good and noble guy. The rest of us disagree. Sometimes you have to be on the outside to have perspective.

7:52 PM  
Blogger Mr. Bennet said...

I'm just trying to protect my Claire Bear! My Claire Bear, Professor!

7:56 PM  
Blogger Local Henchmen 432 said...

Warbird is kick butt and taking names.

8:40 PM  
Blogger Professor Xavier said...

Protect, Mr. Bennet? We'll see.

8:47 PM  
Blogger Simon said...

I'm more of an In n' Out burger type of person. Maybe EZ's

4:09 PM  
Blogger Gyrobo said...

I always enjoy pictures of babies with large pupils. They look so much like puppies that way.

11:28 AM  

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