Friday, February 02, 2007

Walt's Vault.

Ladies and Gents,

At Raccon City two guys in suits come up to Elixir and I.

"Mr. Abrams, after your last post. The NRA couldn't be happier. You showed that,guns don't kill people, zombies kill people. Also that guns kill zombies. Gun sales are throught the roof. To thank you, we want to give you these...First class tickets."

We thank the good men and were on our way. On our way to Disneyland.

We get to cut in line of the Star Tours.

Haw Haw.

Chumps. Later we hear some numbskull thought the ride was real. Jeeze, some people. I head over to Space mountain.

I climb to the top. Great, This choices suck. Either, we ride it a "Small World After All" until we are goofy little bastards or be come Furries.

I make one of the hardest choices ever.

Those in charge give us ground rules.

1. No speaking.

2. No getting out of costume in front ot anyone.

3. No pee breaks. The costume will just soak it up.

4. No flirting with guest.

5. No eating.

6. Walt is master of all.

7. Kids come first. Make them happy.

8. What happends in Walt's Vault stays in Walt's Vault.

9. Lost children will be sent to Neverland...Ranch.

10. Stay away from Minnie.

Actually it's not to bad.

It's pretty fun. The kids are pretty sweet and I don't have to talk to anyone.

We are getting a lot of love. Until...I get puked on. Gross, now I smell like Wolverine.

Then, this frenzed parent gives me her four year old to hold.

"I want Mickey. Mickey, Mickey, gave me Mickey Now!" She yells at the top of her lungs.

To shut her up. I show some her tricks. I do a few back flips and handstands.

Then she has a fit " I want Chip and I want him NOW!"

"Now, now Veruka Salt. You will calm down this minute. Mommy has a nice day planned for you. Remember, when you talk like that it makes Mommy feel very bad."

Veruka doesn't stop "Well, if you had gotten divorced from Daddy and married Mr. Trump, Like I told you to. We could have anything I wanted."

I go to hug the brat and give her a Vulcan nerve pinch. She passes out and the crowd goes wild. Parents start giving us money to teach them how knock their kids out.

We are the first group ever to get five Mickeys out of five from ten different park patrons.

Next stop is the Pit stop.

Dental for all.

Dr.Polaris rules.


Blogger A Army Of (Cl)One said...

Holy Cripies! They made you dress as Ewoks! Man that Walt is evil.

"No pee breaks. The costume will just soak it up." And how often do they clean those suits?

1:01 PM  
Blogger Warbird said...


4:28 PM  
Blogger Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

Vulcan nerve pinch? Ha ha!

10:18 PM  
Blogger Vince Briefs said...

Vulcan nerve Pinch ? where do i go to, learn that?

7:27 AM  
Blogger Gyrobo said...

The viewers agree: Vulcan Nerve Pinches are in this season.

12:25 PM  
Blogger Professor Xavier said...


Henchman in a chipmunk costume!! I am going to forward those pictures to your union brothers!

9:19 AM  
Blogger captain koma said...

Well there you go.

Henchy finally brought the funny.

Took your sweet time dude.

All I can think of is the poor kids who go to Neverland...Ranch.

Those bastards.

Time to kill Micheal Jackson.


5:34 PM  

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